I’m not surprised at all by a variety of responses to your post. I am almost 15 years past when I thought I’d become a grandmother. Nothing has been easy or smooth for me so I know I shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed. But it’s hard when everyone you know has grandkids and shared their enjoyment.I know I may never become a grandma to anyone but cats, but I will try to find the right kids along the way, to share my love and time.
I hope for you that those kids are just around the corner. I hadn't meant to hit a nerve (I know when I'm aiming for a nerve, and this wasn't those times).
I'm a late-breaking parent, and if my son is also a late-breaking parent* I don't anticipate seeing much of any grandchildren.
But being a late-breaking parent has given me something like grandparental stance with my son, I think: I have always held him gently, and we have been friends all along. (I drew lucky in my son, obviously, and he in his parent. It's always a matching problem.)
But as for controversial, well, US people are strikingly weird and high-tension and extortionate about parenting. And it raises the emotional ante all round.
I have occasionally thought about what it would have been like to have my son when I was older. I know I'd have been more patient and that could only have helped him grow. I have friends who are late-breaking parents, and they are more financially secure (and more secure in general) than I ever was. I don't regret a thing, but again: You and your son are lucky to have one another.
Speaking now as the child of somewhat ancient (though unfortunately still rather financially stressed) parents-- yes, I think that's exactly it. Yet it looks from here as though you and your son are similarly lucky to have each other. :)
We get on each other's nerves, hang up on each other, and then call later to apologize for our respective inability to communicate effectively. I respect him. I love him. I'm lucky to have him.
My son is old enough not to stop me from talking when I've gone overboard. Sadly, he didn't have that opportunity when he was younger because if he'd tried, I'd have skinned him alive. Now? We let each other cool off and then we can talk again. The great part is that we know the other isn't going anywhere, and probably needs time to stew.
My son and I seldom get that angry with each other. And last week when I was justifiably angry with Chun Woo, I told him what had irritated me, which didn't take very long. (He agreed that it was thoughtless and irritating.) And then about ten minutes later I told him that I was angry enough that I really wanted to continue, yelling at him, but that I didn't want to repeat myself. :D (It is sadly common knowledge in my family that if I've perseverated at I will either cave or flee, usually the former. This is not the finest part of my parenting or spousing, and it does get taken advantage of.)
My grandchildren are the brightest lights in my life. I wrote a song for them titled, “Legacies and Heirlooms.” Here it is on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VYZfvUlsW4g
I’m not surprised at all by a variety of responses to your post. I am almost 15 years past when I thought I’d become a grandmother. Nothing has been easy or smooth for me so I know I shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed. But it’s hard when everyone you know has grandkids and shared their enjoyment.I know I may never become a grandma to anyone but cats, but I will try to find the right kids along the way, to share my love and time.
I hope for you that those kids are just around the corner. I hadn't meant to hit a nerve (I know when I'm aiming for a nerve, and this wasn't those times).
Grandchildren are a delight – at any age! Enjoy!
I'm a late-breaking parent, and if my son is also a late-breaking parent* I don't anticipate seeing much of any grandchildren.
But being a late-breaking parent has given me something like grandparental stance with my son, I think: I have always held him gently, and we have been friends all along. (I drew lucky in my son, obviously, and he in his parent. It's always a matching problem.)
But as for controversial, well, US people are strikingly weird and high-tension and extortionate about parenting. And it raises the emotional ante all round.
* As is the way of my family.
I have occasionally thought about what it would have been like to have my son when I was older. I know I'd have been more patient and that could only have helped him grow. I have friends who are late-breaking parents, and they are more financially secure (and more secure in general) than I ever was. I don't regret a thing, but again: You and your son are lucky to have one another.
Speaking now as the child of somewhat ancient (though unfortunately still rather financially stressed) parents-- yes, I think that's exactly it. Yet it looks from here as though you and your son are similarly lucky to have each other. :)
We get on each other's nerves, hang up on each other, and then call later to apologize for our respective inability to communicate effectively. I respect him. I love him. I'm lucky to have him.
Feeling that-- much the same here, though we're still cohabiting for a year or so.
My son is old enough not to stop me from talking when I've gone overboard. Sadly, he didn't have that opportunity when he was younger because if he'd tried, I'd have skinned him alive. Now? We let each other cool off and then we can talk again. The great part is that we know the other isn't going anywhere, and probably needs time to stew.
My son and I seldom get that angry with each other. And last week when I was justifiably angry with Chun Woo, I told him what had irritated me, which didn't take very long. (He agreed that it was thoughtless and irritating.) And then about ten minutes later I told him that I was angry enough that I really wanted to continue, yelling at him, but that I didn't want to repeat myself. :D (It is sadly common knowledge in my family that if I've perseverated at I will either cave or flee, usually the former. This is not the finest part of my parenting or spousing, and it does get taken advantage of.)
My grandchildren are the brightest lights in my life. I wrote a song for them titled, “Legacies and Heirlooms.” Here it is on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VYZfvUlsW4g
I wish there were more hearts with which to like this. Thank you for this. It made me think of my grandmother, with a heart full of love.
Much love to you and your grandkids. We are blessed.
Much love to you and yours. I posted that video on Facebook. It's the entire world, all in a song.
Indeed.
No doubt you are one of the coolest grandma’s !
Well, you can’t really try to be cool. You are or you aren’t.
That’s a wonderful thing! You’re all lucky to have one another.