So this week, these two stinkers and I swam at a local lake where two of their older sisters work. I got to stand in water neck-deep, to the point that when I finally came out of the water, I was chilled.
It was glorious. The stinkers mostly made up games and I played along. We took turns putting on life jackets and heading out in a two-person kayak, and they both showed a keen ability to row with a partner.
I came home and posted this on social media with the words, Honest to God, if you have a chance to have grandkids, do so.
I was surprised to hear from people who ached for grandchildren or whose children had died before they could have children, as well as from people who are raising their grandchildren because, I assume, something went wrong. I didn’t see it as a controversial post — but then, my standard for “controversial” is pretty high. I figured people would take the opportunity to post photos of their own grandchildren, and a lot of them did. We of the Me Decade have discovered there’s a reason to step off center stage and learn hand-clapping games like “Avocado.”
But let me go further:
I had no idea I would enjoy being a grandparent so much. Prior to entering the club, I was cowed by the idea of living up to the example set by my Grandma Marrs, who was of another time and century but fiercely devoted to us. I worried — only in the back of my mind because when you’re young, you think youth will last forever (or I did) — that I’d never be able to muster her brand of fierceness, love, and humor.
I was right to worry. I don’t bring her brand of anything to the role. I bring my own, and the stinkers are old enough that we can share belly laughs over the same jokes, exchange looks when something seems…off, and generally be happy in each other’s company. I still offer guidance (I am under the impression that that role is life-long) but as they move toward their teen years, I place myself firmly next to them, as a friend, an older, wrinkly one, but a friend. It is the most glorious friendship and if you don’t have grandchildren, I have you have that kind of friendship with someone, any one.
I’m not surprised at all by a variety of responses to your post. I am almost 15 years past when I thought I’d become a grandmother. Nothing has been easy or smooth for me so I know I shouldn’t be surprised or dismayed. But it’s hard when everyone you know has grandkids and shared their enjoyment.I know I may never become a grandma to anyone but cats, but I will try to find the right kids along the way, to share my love and time.
Grandchildren are a delight – at any age! Enjoy!