It’s so frustrating. A former professor of mine had a truly wonderful wife; he loved her to distraction. Seeing she had stage 4 terminal cancer, SHE decided what was right for her, her right not to suffer through no end in sight medical treatment that would have, in her mind and ours, just prolonged her and her lover’s suffering.
I have had cancer 3 times. I have a directive not only for my mental health wishes but also how I’d hope to be released from this mostly physical world to a more existentially less stressful, less physical more spiritual reality existing right under nose (grandkid calls the Far Away Land). Are they afraid this might be ((((((((suicide))))))) or “murder,” cue spooky music. I’m not sure. Once in class we were discussing Edna Pontellier’s decision to take leave of the repressive social martyrdom women found themselves thrown into during Victorian era Louisiana.
All but one student (that’d be moi) entertained the idea that while it was a drastic, mostly unnecessary (?) step into freedom for her (broken wing and all), perhaps it was “right” for her. The protests coming out of the mouths of the privileged students around me were loud and annoying. But after class, the discussion continued. The less privileged of us were less vocal and less concerned about the “moral story” that she was fundamentally responsible for her kids and a sinner in the eyes of g-d and more interested in the symbolism embedded in the story. Ya da ya da ya da!
Loved that you posted this today. It gave me much food for thought to gobble up. Right on.
I have let everyone know in my family that while I love this life, if things go south and it looks like I'll linger, I'm ready for the next adventure. I really do not accept I cannot make that decision for myself.
I don't know enough about this to comment intelligently. No one should be made to suffer. Medically, I don't understand how that could even be with proper pain control. Though as a nurse, I have also seen people in a persistent vegetative state. It's so sad. On the other side, if possible, loved ones should be given the opportunity to say good-by. Each situation is so delicate, emotional and unique.
Regardless of the law, everyone of a certain age should put in writing their wishes for themselves and discuss it with their family. Having gone through a recent loss of a close family member, it made me realize it is never too early for an adult to do this. I ordered and just received a family packette of "Five Wishes". I intend to fill mine out and ask a few family members to do the same. Then, we'll all discuss it. I guess you can make it a legal advanced directive. I may not do that and just use it as a guide to share with my loved ones (Health Care Agents). I trust them to follow my wishes. If anyone is interested, you can Google "Five Wishes" (a program of Aging with Dignity) and find it.
Fyi, the five wishes cover:
The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't.
The kind of medical treatment I want or don't want.
How comfortable I want to be.
How I want people to treat me.
What I want my loved ones to know.
It's better to have these discussions up front, while everyone is healthy, thinking clearly and not so emotional. And when the time comes, loves ones will know what to do instead of guessing.
I agree entirely. Make sure your family knows. Be clear about your end-of-life wishes. But I want this as an option, to step away if things get really bad. I do not understand having a majority want one thing and legislators saying no.
You would think since 10 other states already do this, some for a couple of decades(?), CT would have a good legal blueprint to follow. I don't really understand the hesitation.
The "I believe in miracles" crowd is the same crowd that wants women to endanger their own lives (think Amanda Zurawski). Health care, quality of life, freedom to chose are alien to them as they cloak their positions in 'religion.' God damn them all!
This is an issue on which, after years of thinking about it, I'm still not sure where I am in my rolling ball of think-feel. The thing that trips me up seems to be the involvement of professional medical personnel. Not that they haven't the effective power of offing patients who don't want that, by commission or omission.
That's entirely allowed. My concern is that sentient adults who are ready to go after battling a terminal illness are told no, they have to stay. I ask again: For. What?
I totally agree with you! The majority of CT residents want this. It’s the humane thing to do. It’s what we do for our pets.
The previous owners of our house left CT for Oregon as the husband had cancer. I plan to move too as this is too important an issue to just keep waiting every year for a vote to even happen.
Hospice is good and helps many but when you want to be at home and go peacefully you should be able to.
Both my parents went relatively quickly, peacefully and without pain after being diagnosed with terminal illness so we/they didn’t have to confront a choice like this. That being said, I totally support people having the choice to end their lives in the face of illness, pain, physical or mental incapacity. Those last two may be the trickiest however. I have friends whose father remained physically healthy but sunk into incapacitating dementia for several years before he died, unaware of himself and others. His family remained dedicated and loyal but suffered greatly, some to the point of having it shorten their lives. I don’t want to be the person that causes that to happen. But the conditions that have to exist for someone to decide to call for my end when I’m unable to do it myself seem almost impossible to turn into instructions. The expectation that that should fall to someone other than myself is hard to grasp. In the absence of a loved one, a stranger implementing those instructions is a process I’m not settled on yet. I don’t obsess about it but I hope to figure it out.
It’s so frustrating. A former professor of mine had a truly wonderful wife; he loved her to distraction. Seeing she had stage 4 terminal cancer, SHE decided what was right for her, her right not to suffer through no end in sight medical treatment that would have, in her mind and ours, just prolonged her and her lover’s suffering.
I have had cancer 3 times. I have a directive not only for my mental health wishes but also how I’d hope to be released from this mostly physical world to a more existentially less stressful, less physical more spiritual reality existing right under nose (grandkid calls the Far Away Land). Are they afraid this might be ((((((((suicide))))))) or “murder,” cue spooky music. I’m not sure. Once in class we were discussing Edna Pontellier’s decision to take leave of the repressive social martyrdom women found themselves thrown into during Victorian era Louisiana.
All but one student (that’d be moi) entertained the idea that while it was a drastic, mostly unnecessary (?) step into freedom for her (broken wing and all), perhaps it was “right” for her. The protests coming out of the mouths of the privileged students around me were loud and annoying. But after class, the discussion continued. The less privileged of us were less vocal and less concerned about the “moral story” that she was fundamentally responsible for her kids and a sinner in the eyes of g-d and more interested in the symbolism embedded in the story. Ya da ya da ya da!
Loved that you posted this today. It gave me much food for thought to gobble up. Right on.
I have let everyone know in my family that while I love this life, if things go south and it looks like I'll linger, I'm ready for the next adventure. I really do not accept I cannot make that decision for myself.
I’m over here hollering “AMEN!” in a large outside voice.
I appreciate that. If any where near 75% of the state's residents want this, WHY DO WE NOT HAVE THIS?
Because separation of church and state is a myth - and a myth that's fading even faster of late?
I don't know enough about this to comment intelligently. No one should be made to suffer. Medically, I don't understand how that could even be with proper pain control. Though as a nurse, I have also seen people in a persistent vegetative state. It's so sad. On the other side, if possible, loved ones should be given the opportunity to say good-by. Each situation is so delicate, emotional and unique.
Regardless of the law, everyone of a certain age should put in writing their wishes for themselves and discuss it with their family. Having gone through a recent loss of a close family member, it made me realize it is never too early for an adult to do this. I ordered and just received a family packette of "Five Wishes". I intend to fill mine out and ask a few family members to do the same. Then, we'll all discuss it. I guess you can make it a legal advanced directive. I may not do that and just use it as a guide to share with my loved ones (Health Care Agents). I trust them to follow my wishes. If anyone is interested, you can Google "Five Wishes" (a program of Aging with Dignity) and find it.
Fyi, the five wishes cover:
The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can't.
The kind of medical treatment I want or don't want.
How comfortable I want to be.
How I want people to treat me.
What I want my loved ones to know.
It's better to have these discussions up front, while everyone is healthy, thinking clearly and not so emotional. And when the time comes, loves ones will know what to do instead of guessing.
I agree entirely. Make sure your family knows. Be clear about your end-of-life wishes. But I want this as an option, to step away if things get really bad. I do not understand having a majority want one thing and legislators saying no.
You would think since 10 other states already do this, some for a couple of decades(?), CT would have a good legal blueprint to follow. I don't really understand the hesitation.
The "I believe in miracles" crowd is the same crowd that wants women to endanger their own lives (think Amanda Zurawski). Health care, quality of life, freedom to chose are alien to them as they cloak their positions in 'religion.' God damn them all!
Amen, damn 'em all.
It drives me nuts. I have held, watched or found 4 loved ones who wanted to be legally freed. It was heart-ripping.
I’m so sorry.
Hard as it was to watch them suffer, it twas still a gift to be with them when they left.
This is an issue on which, after years of thinking about it, I'm still not sure where I am in my rolling ball of think-feel. The thing that trips me up seems to be the involvement of professional medical personnel. Not that they haven't the effective power of offing patients who don't want that, by commission or omission.
Still rolling in a tangled mass.
That's entirely allowed. My concern is that sentient adults who are ready to go after battling a terminal illness are told no, they have to stay. I ask again: For. What?
Agreed.
I totally agree with you! The majority of CT residents want this. It’s the humane thing to do. It’s what we do for our pets.
The previous owners of our house left CT for Oregon as the husband had cancer. I plan to move too as this is too important an issue to just keep waiting every year for a vote to even happen.
Hospice is good and helps many but when you want to be at home and go peacefully you should be able to.
Amen.
Both my parents went relatively quickly, peacefully and without pain after being diagnosed with terminal illness so we/they didn’t have to confront a choice like this. That being said, I totally support people having the choice to end their lives in the face of illness, pain, physical or mental incapacity. Those last two may be the trickiest however. I have friends whose father remained physically healthy but sunk into incapacitating dementia for several years before he died, unaware of himself and others. His family remained dedicated and loyal but suffered greatly, some to the point of having it shorten their lives. I don’t want to be the person that causes that to happen. But the conditions that have to exist for someone to decide to call for my end when I’m unable to do it myself seem almost impossible to turn into instructions. The expectation that that should fall to someone other than myself is hard to grasp. In the absence of a loved one, a stranger implementing those instructions is a process I’m not settled on yet. I don’t obsess about it but I hope to figure it out.