The text said, "Are you watching this?"

I wasn't, but then I didn't leave the television for days.

That afternoon, I was hanging out with the grandkids, but the text came from a fellow news broad, so I flipped on the television, where it felt like this…whatever it was… filled every channel. I called the friend who’d sent the text, and she was crying. The grandkids had been bouncing around the living room but they grew quiet at the scenes before them. I’m not sure they understood what we were watching.

I’m know I didn’t.

Old habits die hard, and as I feverishly flipped through the channels and checked the websites of the Times, Post, and Globe, I reached into my bag for a reporter’s notebook. I will carry that tool of my trade until they pry it from my cold, dead fingers. (If nothing else, I always have paper handy for grocery lists. But I also have paper handy to start taking notes when I need a shield between me and what’s in front of me.)

As I scribbled, I answered questions from the then-9-year olds, starting with, “What’s happening?” I don’t remember how I answered. I mostly wanted them to know that they were safe, that we were safe, and that, without getting too fancy, the country would be safe after this…whatever it was…was over.

I’ve said it before: I took Donald Trump’s actions, fraud, lies and hatefulness personally. I spent too much time trolling him and his acolytes on social media. I wrote scathing newspaper columns. I sent angry postcards and letters — as if I alone could correct the ship that had sailed onto the rocks.

I thought my innocence had been flattened beneath the awful weight of Trump the Craven, but then these dumbasses had listened to him and were right then storming our temple of democracy with weapons and intent. What. The hell. Was I watching?

You should always want me in your foxhole. I stay calm. I make quick and good decisions, and that day, I kept my voice modulated as I explained to the grandchildren that what was going on was wrong, that these people were not behaving as Americans and adults should behave. We talked about how rotten it is to be a sore loser, and about the democratic process and how it’s supposed to work. I reminded them that I was and always will be a Never Trumper, but when the votes came in in 2016, I sucked it up.

The children may have only pretended to listen but it was important for me to say all that, out loud.

The thing is, I really did believe that we would be OK. It’s how you operate if you live under the rule of law, and though it’s been two long and challenging years, and though there’s an embarrassing mess in the House of Representatives with members such as the liar George Santos, and though Trump still roams free, I still believe. That’s probably naive, but it’s also entirely American, isn’t it? We are immature and silly and then we inexplicably rise to the occasion and this is that occasion.