18 Comments
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Deacon Art's avatar

Forgiveness heals the wounds that time cannot.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

Oh, amen.

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Jac's avatar

Dammit Melvin! Do better!

I re-learned stress slows the ability to think.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

Absolutely.

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Joseph Grabarz's avatar

Don’t plant annuals until the lilacs are in full bloom.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

True? I had no idea. Now I have learned something new!

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Gayle Anton's avatar

I have tended to tell my clients that I am willing to work as hard as they are. But no harder. Some things I cannot do for them but can teach them how.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

That's a good rule of thumb for teachers of college students, as well.

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Mary Ann Dimand's avatar

Not happy things, so I'll keep them mum. I'm very curious about Melvin.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

Oh, I’m so sorry. I hope the lessons learned are at least helpful in the future. As for Melvin, teaching is often about setting boundaries and making sure students take agency for their own education. When a student doesn’t do that (and relies too much on others for getting through), it’s on those others to know when to step back and when the call for aid needs answering. I am surrounded by capable students and a handful who haven’t matured yet to the point where they will treat their education as their own. Melvin falls in the last group. If you’re a helping kind of person, it’s extremely difficult (but important) to step back and let the student figure some things out. Melvin broke me. That means I spent far too much time trying to walk him through and finally had to say, “This is yours.”

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Charlene L. Edge's avatar

This is so well put and helps me understand your angst this semester. Isn't life full of lessons about boundaries? In a newsletter I get, the following was offered on this topic. It's about separating "to-do lists" into three parts. (I'm addicted to making these lists.) 1. Things you have to do. 2. Things you want to do. 3. Things other people want you to do. That's all. I'm thinking of more things to add to this list, like "Things I vow never to do again." LOL

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Mary Ann Dimand's avatar

Ah, got you. Melvin was a painfully living reminder of the risks of the nurturing side of teaching. I hope Melvin gains from the experience. And I pat your hand from afar.

As for fruits of the learning, so far I can't perceive any direction aside from Just Give Up. Which doesn't seem helpful.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

Your dysfunctional friends at Super Probably Relevant Content stand with you.

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Charlene L. Edge's avatar

Focused attention with a calm heart indicates love.

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Susan Campbell's avatar

That’s beautiful.

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Thomas Dombroski's avatar

Sometimes you can teach an old dog new tricks

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Susan Campbell's avatar

I take hope from that.

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