The golden calf in Orlando

Look what they did at CPAC

More than a few commenters noticed the irony of wheeling a golden Trump into this weekend’s Conservative Political Action Conference in Orlando. Most compared the odd statue to the golden calf of the Hebrew scriptures, which was created by Israelites who’d grown tired of waiting on Moses, who was up a mountain talking directly to God. In that long-ago time, after bowing to the outcry, Moses’ brother, Aaron, created the calf from the people’s jewelry, and the people said:

These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.

It’s hard not to draw comparisons between the impatient Israelites (I mean, God was right there…can you wait just a second?) and the CPAC crowd, so I won’t resist the urge.

Meanwhile, throughout the rest of the conference, you heard multiple references to socialists, Hillary Clinton, and John Wayne. In addition:

• Called “America Uncanceled,” the convention — uh — canceled one of its featured speakers for anti-Semitic social media posts.

• At one point, organizers asked attendees to wear masks, and the crowd booed the Democratic hoax that has killed more than a half-million people in the U.S. so far.

• Don Junior’s girlfriend, Kim Guilfoyle, was said to have twerked while onstage, but in fact, that was at a different conservative event. Get it straight, people.

• Several Republican lawmakers skipped a D.C. vote on the COVID relief package because, they said, there’s an “ongoing public health emergency,” and then they showed up to speak in Orlando. Here are their names.

• The other guy was frequently referred to as the real-and-true President by people who can’t count.

• Hyatt Orlando answered critics of their hosting the event by saying, “Yes, we do welcome QAnon love-fests because, according to a Hyatt spokesperson:

  We believe in the right of individuals and organizations to peacefully express their views, independent of the degree to which the perspectives of those hosting meetings and events at our hotels align with ours. Our own values support a culture that is characterized by empathy, respect and diversity of opinions and backgrounds, and we strive to bring this to light through what we do and how we engage with those in our care.

Weirdly, for much of the afternoon, if you tried to check the conference website, you got:

The other guy delivered the keynote speech, a little sad that only 68% of CPAC attendees — the crème de la party faithful — want him to ever run again. It was typical other guy fare: He started by asking if any one missed him, moved into talking about how successful has been his “journey,” and how socialism leads to communism (which isn’t, in fact, how things work), and then he called Pres. Joe Biden “anti-woman.” At that point, a cauldron of bats descended upon the Hyatt ballroom and I couldn’t hear any thing else for their squeaking. I think the locusts came later. It was hard to see.