I don't buy Halloween candy this early

But if you're planning ahead for the goblins and ghouls:

Few things are scarier than a world without unions. Here’s an expanded list of union-made candies. Do what I do, and buy them on the day before.

(Sadly, my long-time favorite candy bar, Mars bars, is not union-made. I can cheerfully skip that in favor of a Butterfinger or some Hershey Nuggets, which are made by union workers.)