Right after I started work at the Hartford Courant, a call was dispatched to me that I thought was a joke, a kind of hazing of the new person. The woman on the line said she was attending a charity function in a week or so, and she had a peach-colored leather suit she wanted to wear. It was March. Was it too early for a peach-colored leather suit?
Fuck if I knew, so I put her on hold and asked my colleagues and we voted and decided it didn’t matter what the woman wore. It was a charity event. I suggested she wear whatever the hell, and take her checkbook.
I still think that’s a good answer.
But fashion questions spring eternal, and last week, Joplin-born Missouri state Rep. Ann Kelley, R-127th, proposed what has to be one of the stupidest pieces of legislation known to humankind, post-Trump
Fashionista Kelley sponsored a bill that was essentially an update of the dress code for female state representatives in the state capital, Jefferson City. The new code required women to wear blazers over dresses, shirts, leather teddys, whatever women have been choosing to wear on the House floor. (Honestly, I did a search and found no evidence of a Kyrsten Sinema-type approach to ladies’ wear in Jeff City but maybe a few women slinked in wearing sequins?) I can only assume Kelley chose this particular battle because a woman showing her arms gives men an occasion to sin is unprofessional, according to Kelley.
The bill was greeted, as you might imagine, with loud guffaws.
Rep. Raychel Proudie, D-73rd, said on the floor:
There are very serious things in this rule package that I think we should be debating but, instead we are fighting - again - on women's rights to choose something and in this time it is how she covers herself and the interpretation of someone who has no background in fashion.
Again, this is not a shot, it is inappropriate to wear sequins before 5pm telling me that I cannot wear a crispy good St. John sweater if it has too many buttons.
I spent $1,200 on a suit, and I can't wear it in the People's House because someone who doesn't have the range tells me that's inappropriate.
House Republicans eventually adopted the legislation, and now female Missouri state legislators must not bear their arms.
If you look at the bills sponsored or co-sponsored by Kelley, this ignorance tracks. Here’s my suggestion for rules for male state representatives in Jefferson City:
But in a state where a public school student can expect — at best — a middling education, where nearly 13% of state residents live in poverty, and where segregation is so historically entrenched people don’t even notice, yes. Let’s talk about the upper arms of women.
Baby Jesus is crying, Ann. And He’s crying for you.
Excellent point: Women in Missouri can't bare their arms but women (and virtually everyone else) do indeed still have the right to bear arms. I swear, the 2006 parody film "Idiocracy" gets closer to reality every day now.
But let's let Republicans tell us again how concerned they are about the Taliban.