Can we retire "lady" and "gentleman?"
We aren't, after all, a monarchy
During last night’s speech that marked the one-year anniversary of the pandemic, Pres. Joe Biden said that in the coming weeks, he, First Lady Jill Biden, Vice President Kamala Harris, and Second Gentleman Douglas Emhoff will travel the country to talk about the $1.9 trillion COVID relief bill.
And a little of me died inside.
Oh, I’m pleased as punch about the relief wending its way into American homes. It’s the titles of the spouses that stick in my craw, as they always have.
When the Democratic ticket took the White House in November, there was much discussion as to what precisely we would call the husband of the First-Ever-Female-Vice-President. For symmetry’s sake, I suppose, and only after the title “second dude” was semi-seriously floated, the conversation settled on “Second Gentleman.” Even Merriam-Webster jumped on board.
We’ve long freely used “First Lady,” though the Constitution mentions no such role. Instead, the phrase sort of bubbled up some 40 years after Martha Washington graced the halls of power, and then got locked in during the time of Eleanor Roosevelt, who took the title to mean “activist” and not “mall-shop-Christmas-decorator.”
From all accounts, Emhoff, an attorney and professor, is approaching his new role as a full-time job. But there’s something about the incongruity of using what sounds like a post that’s in line to a throne (like a dukedom, but in a double-wide) that has never felt right.
“Lady” — as in “act like a lady” — is an anachronistic term that could be retired and few, save for the Concerned Ladies for America, would miss it much. Remember Hillary Clinton, also an attorney and a policy wonk, bristling over the notion that she’d stay home and bake cookies? That was the ‘90s. I understood precisely what she was saying, and I still do.
So here I will once again bleat my plea that will be ignored as it has been for years: Why can’t we just say “the President’s wife,” or the “President’s husband?” Loose the bonds of the monarchy, and welcome to a new day.