We used to have pretty much weekly visits on Sunday mornings, which my husband was convinced persisted because I was polite and resisted the urge to slam the door in their faces. Sooo, one Sunday, he beat me to the door.
Husband: "Sorry, not interested" as the spiel began.
Visitor: "But sir! Don't you want to hear the Word of God?!?"
Husband: "Yep. but not secondhand from you!"
[door slams]
Later that day I noticed a mark on the front door lintel. I knew it wasn't Passover in the traditional sense, but apparently it served in an oddly related way: They've never been back.
If I were your colleague I would share your joy about this. But then again, I am hoping that the rapture does come so that all the people who annoy me will just disappear. That's how this works, right?
Yikes. This is one of the funniest sad stories I've heard recently. Reading it prompted me to flip through (very quickly, since I'm only on my first cup of coffee this morning) George M. Marsden's tome of a book, Fundamentalism and American Culture. To make it more entertaining (which is isn't unless you're a former fundie like me), he should have included a reference to tracts like this! It was years ago I read Marsden as I prepped to write my memoir, Undertow.
I can relate to how you felt it would take too much time for the backstory to explain to "outsiders" why you reacted to the pamphlet like you did. I feel the same whenever someone says "Bible study."
Do you know who it was who said something like the difference between an evangelical and a fundamentalist is that a fundie is always angry?
I wasn't raised fundamentalist, but I was sent several Jack Chick comics after I wrote a letter opposing censorship of library books to the St. Catharines, Ontario newspaper. (I think they were whatever the sender had on hand: there was nothing censorship-relevant. I particularly remember The Four Brothers and Tiny Shoes.
I had never heard of Jack Chick and was fascinated to learn that he and his many, many works were famous and notorious. I haven't been sent one in quite a while-- none as a pastor, which is surprising-- but I should look for my tiny collection, in my copious free time.
(Boasting time: Jehovah's Witnesses used to come to the united (United Methodist Church / Presbyterian Church (USA)) church I pastored in a call town, to evangelize to me. Maybe that's a commonplace for other pastors, but I've never heard of it....
I think so-- they certainly kept coming back and spieling me. Asking me things like "Do you pray?" (and to that one I said, "I should hope so-- I'm pastor here!" so they definitely knew, or should have.)
I kept thinking that perhaps my conversion would could asa terrific coup. Or maybe they just enjoyed being treated politely. In that town nearly everyone was either too spiritual for Christianity and very chuffed about it, or (a smaller group) conservative undenominational (and disdaining a UMC/PC(USA) church (which they held not to contain a cross. So not very friendly territory for Jehovah's Witnesses, I would think.
It's a source of endless amusement to me that there are people who can read the Gospel of John literally, but not the story of the rich man and Lazarus. Or the story of the rich man who was told to "go, sell all that you have, and give the money to the poor." Or Jubilee Year. "Blessed are the poor" is pretty much a running theme in both testaments. The MAGA Bible must be very heavily edited.
I am puzzled why fire & brimstone fundamentalists use scare tactics to try to convert people. If they truly want people to have a relationship with God or Christ, love is a better foundation for creating one than fear. Did they skip over that bit of scripture that says God is love or the ones in which Jesus instructs his followers to love others and to treat people the way they’d like to be treated? I consider the most fanatical of those fundies to be bullies.
AVA, I had an experience similar to yours. A couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses came calling, and I invited them in out of courtesy & curiosity. They invited me to visit their Kingdom Hall & gave me a Watchtower publication. After a 15 minute discussion about the Bible, I knew their interpretation of scripture varied significantly from mine. I told them we’d probably be attending a different church we had already visited in town. A month later 2 more JW’s dropped by. I did not invite them in, but the man began emphatically quoting scripture on the porch and again invited me to the Hall. I politely but firmly said I was not interested. The 3rd time they came by, their arrival was heralded by ear piercing shrieks! Looking out the door, I saw a woman running across the street as fast as possible in high heels with her male companion following. Our lovable but ugly English Bulldog with 2 long teeth sticking out from his lower jaw and a string of drool hanging from his lip was looking forlorn at the end of our driveway. My husband said he had waddled out of the yard to give his usual warm welcome to our visitors. They must have blacklisted us on their return to Kingdom Hall because we’ve never had another JW come here.
It will be so peaceful after the rapture... almost like heaven on earth!
(Meaning folks like me will be off enjoying our eternal reward?)
We used to have pretty much weekly visits on Sunday mornings, which my husband was convinced persisted because I was polite and resisted the urge to slam the door in their faces. Sooo, one Sunday, he beat me to the door.
Husband: "Sorry, not interested" as the spiel began.
Visitor: "But sir! Don't you want to hear the Word of God?!?"
Husband: "Yep. but not secondhand from you!"
[door slams]
Later that day I noticed a mark on the front door lintel. I knew it wasn't Passover in the traditional sense, but apparently it served in an oddly related way: They've never been back.
Hallelujah!
Are you kidding? They marked your door? (And by the way, your husband's response was perfect.)
If I were your colleague I would share your joy about this. But then again, I am hoping that the rapture does come so that all the people who annoy me will just disappear. That's how this works, right?
Yes. And if you're standing within three feet of me, a person who is officially "saved," you're saved by proxy.*
*I'm lying.
Yikes. This is one of the funniest sad stories I've heard recently. Reading it prompted me to flip through (very quickly, since I'm only on my first cup of coffee this morning) George M. Marsden's tome of a book, Fundamentalism and American Culture. To make it more entertaining (which is isn't unless you're a former fundie like me), he should have included a reference to tracts like this! It was years ago I read Marsden as I prepped to write my memoir, Undertow.
I can relate to how you felt it would take too much time for the backstory to explain to "outsiders" why you reacted to the pamphlet like you did. I feel the same whenever someone says "Bible study."
Do you know who it was who said something like the difference between an evangelical and a fundamentalist is that a fundie is always angry?
Me. It was me. And a million other people. If you aren't pissed, you cannot call yourself a fundamentalist.
I wasn't raised fundamentalist, but I was sent several Jack Chick comics after I wrote a letter opposing censorship of library books to the St. Catharines, Ontario newspaper. (I think they were whatever the sender had on hand: there was nothing censorship-relevant. I particularly remember The Four Brothers and Tiny Shoes.
I had never heard of Jack Chick and was fascinated to learn that he and his many, many works were famous and notorious. I haven't been sent one in quite a while-- none as a pastor, which is surprising-- but I should look for my tiny collection, in my copious free time.
(Boasting time: Jehovah's Witnesses used to come to the united (United Methodist Church / Presbyterian Church (USA)) church I pastored in a call town, to evangelize to me. Maybe that's a commonplace for other pastors, but I've never heard of it....
That’s odd. They wanted especially you for conversion?
I think so-- they certainly kept coming back and spieling me. Asking me things like "Do you pray?" (and to that one I said, "I should hope so-- I'm pastor here!" so they definitely knew, or should have.)
I kept thinking that perhaps my conversion would could asa terrific coup. Or maybe they just enjoyed being treated politely. In that town nearly everyone was either too spiritual for Christianity and very chuffed about it, or (a smaller group) conservative undenominational (and disdaining a UMC/PC(USA) church (which they held not to contain a cross. So not very friendly territory for Jehovah's Witnesses, I would think.
It's a source of endless amusement to me that there are people who can read the Gospel of John literally, but not the story of the rich man and Lazarus. Or the story of the rich man who was told to "go, sell all that you have, and give the money to the poor." Or Jubilee Year. "Blessed are the poor" is pretty much a running theme in both testaments. The MAGA Bible must be very heavily edited.
I'd call it "heavily redacted." But yeah.
Even those folks don't think Jesus was actually a grapevine or a lamb.
Graphic novel?
Great idea!
So what exactly do they want the reader to do? (Other than be fearful)
I am puzzled why fire & brimstone fundamentalists use scare tactics to try to convert people. If they truly want people to have a relationship with God or Christ, love is a better foundation for creating one than fear. Did they skip over that bit of scripture that says God is love or the ones in which Jesus instructs his followers to love others and to treat people the way they’d like to be treated? I consider the most fanatical of those fundies to be bullies.
AVA, I had an experience similar to yours. A couple of Jehovah’s Witnesses came calling, and I invited them in out of courtesy & curiosity. They invited me to visit their Kingdom Hall & gave me a Watchtower publication. After a 15 minute discussion about the Bible, I knew their interpretation of scripture varied significantly from mine. I told them we’d probably be attending a different church we had already visited in town. A month later 2 more JW’s dropped by. I did not invite them in, but the man began emphatically quoting scripture on the porch and again invited me to the Hall. I politely but firmly said I was not interested. The 3rd time they came by, their arrival was heralded by ear piercing shrieks! Looking out the door, I saw a woman running across the street as fast as possible in high heels with her male companion following. Our lovable but ugly English Bulldog with 2 long teeth sticking out from his lower jaw and a string of drool hanging from his lip was looking forlorn at the end of our driveway. My husband said he had waddled out of the yard to give his usual warm welcome to our visitors. They must have blacklisted us on their return to Kingdom Hall because we’ve never had another JW come here.